A report on Giddy suggests that, on average, after 2.68 years of conflict, many married couples turn to counseling when one or both partners feel overwhelmed. At this point, one partner may already be considering ending the marriage. However, premarital counseling can help you be better prepared for many of the challenges that arise after marriage.
For many people, the idea of premarital counseling is not only terrifying but also unnecessary. When you’re in love with someone, why would you need an outsider telling you that marriage is hard work? If you’re planning on marrying the person of your dreams, wouldn’t it be better to just get married and go on a romantic honeymoon?
We’ll answer these questions and more below.
Communication
Communication is one of the most important skills to develop in a relationship, and it’s something that couples can learn together. In premarital couples counseling, you’ll be able to discuss how you communicate with each other and what changes need to happen for things to go more smoothly.
You might find yourself doing all sorts of things wrong when it comes to communicating with your partner, from talking too much or too little (or even not at all) to acting passive-aggressive rather than expressing yourself directly, and so on.
The point isn’t just about learning what works best. It’s also about identifying why certain behaviors are important so that they become habits instead of habits that need to be broken down again every time they come up in conversation or argument.
Conflict Resolution
Conflict resolution is a key component of premarital counseling. Premarital counselors help couples learn constructive ways to address the issues that commonly arise before tying the knot. This process may involve identifying each partner’s trigger points and typical reactions when confronted, which can be uncomfortable at first.
However, by working through these details together, couples can develop healthier ways to handle conflicts in their future married life.
Expectations
If your answers to these questions are not in sync, it may be time to look at premarital counseling. Here are some common areas where people might have different expectations:
- What are your expectations of marriage? Are they realistic or idealistic? How will you handle conflict when it arises? How will you communicate with each other about problems instead of avoiding them or letting things build up until they explode into an argument (or worse)?
- How will each partner balance work, family, and friends, and who’s going to do what within those roles? Will one person take on more responsibility than the other? If so, how does that make each person feel about themselves and their role in the relationship overall? What kind of help does each partner want/need from their partner when dealing with these issues, and can this be offered without stepping on toes or making others feel left out?
Decision-Making
Making decisions together can be difficult. It can be even harder when you’re not sure what the other person wants or if they even care about the issue at hand. This is why couples counseling helps with decision-making. It teaches couples how to compromise and make decisions in a thoughtful way that takes both partners’ needs into account.
In addition to helping you decide on things like where you want to live after marriage and whether or not you want children (or how many), premarital counseling helps couples discover how they can best communicate their desires and needs, so they don’t end up arguing over every little thing after saying “I do.”
Family Planning
Family planning is the most important part of premarital counseling. It is important to discuss family planning with your partner before getting married so that you can decide on a suitable family plan.
There are many ways in which couples can decide on their family plans and make sure that they are compatible with each other’s expectations and requirements when it comes to having children. The main thing is for both of you to be open about this topic, listen carefully, understand each other’s views, discuss them calmly, and then come up with an agreement that works for both of you.
Finances
Money can be a touchy subject for couples, but it’s important to discuss how you will handle finances before tying the knot. According to CNBC, research suggests finances are a source of stress in relationships for 35% of people, and debt often lies at the heart of financial issues for many couples.
A survey conducted by U.S. News & World Report reveals that the most common money-related lies in relationships are related to secret purchases (31.4%), hidden debts (28.7%), and dishonesty about income (22.6%).
Partners who are already burdened by high levels of debt may be tempted to conceal additional debts or misrepresent their true debt balance to avoid embarrassment and reduce the burden on their partner.
The best way to avoid these problems is by talking about money during counseling sessions and making sure both partners feel heard and understood when it comes down to making decisions about spending habits and saving strategies.
Strengthening the Relationship
A strong relationship is one of the most important aspects of your life. It’s also something that can be easily taken for granted, especially when you’re in love and everything seems perfect. But a good marriage doesn’t just happen. It takes work and commitment from both sides. And if you’re not ready for all that commitment before tying the knot? You might end up regretting it later.
Premarital counseling is an opportunity for couples to reflect on themselves as individuals, their lives together as partners, and what they want out of their marriage before they make any commitments legally binding on them both (and any future children).
This gives them time to think through all their options before making such an important decision. Also, it helps ensure that once they do decide on something together, it’ll last longer than just until next week’s paycheck comes through.
Conclusion
It’s important to remember that premarital counseling is not just about preparing for marriage. It can be used as a tool for strengthening any relationship, whether or not you plan on tying the knot.
The benefits of premarital counseling are numerous and can help couples have a better understanding of each other’s needs, desires, and expectations before they make any decisions about their future together as a couple.
